Sometimes it is hard for potential clients to understand exactly what is accomplished in a typical counseling session so we have included a few real life examples of what can be done through the application of our counseling principles in cooperation with the work of the Holy Spirit.
(names and some facts have been changed to protect the privacy of counselees).
Joe's Story
As a husband Joe was affectionate, faithful and open about everything with his new wife. They had wonderful discussions and seemed to be on the same page about most everything. However, after their children were born Joe found himself sharing less and less of himself with his wife even to the point of being deceitful on occasion to avoid telling all. He had recently adopted the idea that “what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Over time Joe’s deceit began to get exposed and resulted in much marital conflict. In counseling Joe was confronted with the reality of bad fruit in his life that had to be traced to a root. After much discussion Joe realized that years ago he had decided “I can’t reveal everything I think and do to mom because she would not understand or approve.” This vow did not manifest until his wife became a mother and then the trigger was finally released for him to reap from this trap he set for himself years earlier. When Joe repented of these two vows, his relationship with his wife was restored to what it had been before motherhood entered the picture.
Arelene's Story
One of Arlene’s close friends from high school lost her son in a tragic accident. She was keenly aware of how close she came to losing her own son at one time. It seemed to “jump out at her” that there was a correlation to these being first-born boys. Having dealt with vows and judgments already and thinking God was showing her something very serious she took this concern to the Lord in prayer. She immediately received a picture in her mind of a teacher and students jokingly about a class assignment. She recalled that someone said something about the assignment being so difficult is was equivalent to the teacher “asking for our firstborn son.” Somewhere in the discussion she sensed the students had come into agreement with that vow without any idea of what they had just done. Because it was such a vague ‘vision’ and she had no clear memory of this she only mentioned it to her spouse. After yet another high school friend lost their first-born son in a terrible accident she took her nagging thought captive and decided to seek the Lord’s counsel regarding these suspicious events. Arlene was now certain that her vision was given to her by the Holy Spirit as a word of knowledge. She had recently come to understand that as a Believer she had the spiritual authority in Christ Jesus to pray on behalf of all of her classmates. In the presence of her spouse she stood in proxy for all of them to cancel the vow and plead the blood of Jesus over the first-born male children of the class of 1984. She could not prove anything was accomplished in this situation but due to the seriousness of the threat it was good that she played it safe and prayed for her friends. To date no other male children of the class of 1984 have died.
Traci's Story
Traci spent much of her life proving she could do anything a boy could do. She had several brothers but she was the one who mowed lawns for pay, she joined boys baseball games at recess, she was the only girl in the middle school chess club, she was the first girl in the history of her high school to play the drum set, she took shop class and won top awards for her project at the fair, she learned how to make car repairs as a college student and eventually chose a male dominated profession. She was determined to outshine the boys in her life and for the most part she was successful at doing so. She never really noticed that she had always been striving in this way till a phone conversation with her sister caused her to recall a phrase that she sensed had replayed itself in her head for years - “I am better than a boy.” This thought seemed to come from nowhere as she and her sister commiserated over how their mom probably hoped for boys when she was pregnant with her daughters because she had been sexually abused as a child. These sisters seemed to have received a word of knowledge that their mother did not want to bring girls into the world on the outside chance that the same would happen to them. As an infant in the womb hearing her mom state her preference for a boy, Traci likely cried out to her mother, “I am better than a boy,” in an attempt to justify her existence. When Traci shared this information with her husband he bore witness to her insight. He admitted to having discerned a growing feeling of competition between them over the years. Again this scenario could not be proven since no one had clear recollection of their thoughts and words but Traci’s life bore the fruit of such a vow and once it was cancelled she and her husband felt a measurable release of stress in their marriage.
Carl's Story
He was seeing a girl that caused his heart to flutter and his palms to sweat for the first time. Carl was dizzy in love but after graduation everything suddenly fell apart. He was going off to college and she did not want a long distance romance. She had hoped they could marry right after high school but that was not in his plans so she decided to abruptly end the romance. This was his first real love relationship with a girl and the pain of this break up was devastating. In his agony Carl decided “I will never love anyone like that again.” After a few years Carl eventually met a sweet girl in college and this time he married her right after graduation. They had a relatively good marriage but Carl could not shake the memory of his “first love.” All the warm fuzzy feelings he had for her would come rushing back at just a brief thought of her. He even had dreams of her that no amount of prayer removed from his mind. He loved his wife and was a faithful and dedicated husband and father. Yet he just never felt the same emotional warmth with his wife that he did with this first girl. Having received judgment and vow counseling for other issues Carl was confident that this dilemma could be corrected as well. He knew there must be some root keeping him from experiencing those feelings with his wife. He prayed and trusted that God would show him what the root of his troubles were. Finally he shared his struggle with his spouse and together they figured out his vow. When Carl repented and cancelled out those pain-inspired words the distracting dreams ended abruptly and he began to experience more romantic feelings for his wife.
Steve's Story
Steve loved to sing and he would spend hours listening to records and singing along. He especially loved church services where he could really belt it out to the glory of God.. Sadly a lady at church told him to hush one day and it hurt his feelings. The most painful blow came from his mother after she reached her stress limit with his five siblings. She yelled for him to “be quiet, you are driving me crazy with your singing!” That was enough for Steve to decide “I can’t sing.” In school he was part of mandatory chorus groups and enjoyed the emotional high he experienced while singing his heart out. However, he would never try out for solos. Later in life whenever anyone asked him to sing he would repeat the “I can’t sing” mantra without hesitation. And as much as Steve loved to sing he just could not get his vocal chords to cooperate with the deep seated desire of his heart. This frustration stayed with him for years till he remembered his mother’s words and his vow. Steve broke that vow and although he has other talents that he exercises for the glory of the Lord he now sees a huge improvement in his singing ability.
Larry's Story
Larry and his wife attended a non-denominational church. They became aware that the pastor of this congregation often provided counseling services to members. Unfortunately this pastor did not see a problem with counseling females behind closed doors or in a church building with no one else around. Larry and his wife commented that they certainly wouldn’t be so foolish as to put themselves in such a compromising situation with such strong appearances of evil. Even if nothing immoral was happening it certainly looked bad and caused people to question the moral character of the pastor and counselee. Not long after that the couple began building a custom home and the husband was hired by a new company. The wife found herself alone with the builder on several occasions as they drove around in his truck to select building materials. She felt very uncomfortable about it but could not seem to avoid these scenarios. The husband also found himself working in a small office building with just a female secretary. He did not feel comfortable with it but could not find a way to justify hiring another employee so soon. Finally this couple realized they were reaping the same circumstances that they had judged in their pastor’s life. Yes, it was wrong for the pastor to expose himself to suspicion but it was also wrong for Larry and his wife to judge their pastor. In the end they were doing the very thing they loathed in someone else. When they repented of their judgment and asked God to cancel the consequences and correct what was wrong in their own lives, God moved miraculously. The wife found a way to avoid being alone with the builder by taking her children or another person with her and the husband was able to hire another employee to share the office space this small company was renting. No longer did they have to compromise what was morally right and good.
Larry and his wife attended a non-denominational church. They became aware that the pastor of this congregation often provided counseling services to members. Unfortunately this pastor did not see a problem with counseling females behind closed doors or in a church building with no one else around. Larry and his wife commented that they certainly wouldn’t be so foolish as to put themselves in such a compromising situation with such strong appearances of evil. Even if nothing immoral was happening it certainly looked bad and caused people to question the moral character of the pastor and counselee. Not long after that the couple began building a custom home and the husband was hired by a new company. The wife found herself alone with the builder on several occasions as they drove around in his truck to select building materials. She felt very uncomfortable about it but could not seem to avoid these scenarios. The husband also found himself working in a small office building with just a female secretary. He did not feel comfortable with it but could not find a way to justify hiring another employee so soon. Finally this couple realized they were reaping the same circumstances that they had judged in their pastor’s life. Yes, it was wrong for the pastor to expose himself to suspicion but it was also wrong for Larry and his wife to judge their pastor. In the end they were doing the very thing they loathed in someone else. When they repented of their judgment and asked God to cancel the consequences and correct what was wrong in their own lives, God moved miraculously. The wife found a way to avoid being alone with the builder by taking her children or another person with her and the husband was able to hire another employee to share the office space this small company was renting. No longer did they have to compromise what was morally right and good.
Patricia's Story
Over a year ago Patricia’s husband confessed that he had been unfaithful to her about five years prior. This news opened the floodgates to a reservoir of emotions ranging from hate to despair. This faithful wife and mother of their five children remembered thinking, “I can’t believe he did this to me… I would never do that to him!” Navigating her heart through months of grief and anger she finally came to the place where she could forgive him. From all appearances, he truly seemed remorseful and she believed him when he insisted it was an isolated incident never to be repeated. It finally made sense to her why her husband had been is such a deep depression for the last several years as he harbored this horrible secret. Once the sin was in the light and she forgave him he became the man she remembered marrying all those years ago . But then the dreams and thoughts began. Her mind was bombarded with lustful thoughts about male friends and acquaintances and at times they were so strong and compelling they scared her. No amount of prayer made this mental torture go away. When it was brought to her attention that she had judged her husband she became upset and indignant. She claimed that she had not done anything wrong – it was her husband who had reviled their marital vows. And she was right. However, her judgment was giving the devil legal grounds to tempt her to do the same thing he had done. When she saw the snare Satan was setting for her she asked for God’s forgiveness for thinking she was better than her husband and thinking that she would never be tempted to commit adultery. Later she reported that the dreams and thoughts had ceased. She and her husband were enjoying a deeper level of love and intimacy than they ever thought possible after suffering such a severe blow to their relationship.
